Reasons not to have a destination wedding? Consider these.
This article is part of a series on destination weddings we’re putting together as we approach our 10th wedding anniversary. We had a destination wedding – we flew from Canada to get married in Tuscany, Italy. In this post, we enthusiastically compiled a list of 10 reasons why you should consider holding your wedding abroad. However, it’s also important to consider the challenges when planning a destination wedding. We have since had plenty of time to reflect on the pros and cons of having a wedding abroad. We hope it will help you determine if a destination wedding is right for you.
Considering a destination wedding? Be sure to read on, and don’t forget to check out the rest of our series on planning a wedding abroad!
1. A smaller guest list
You will typically need to pare down your guest list for a wedding abroad. Sometimes this could be due to venue or accommodation capacity, but it’s just logistically more complicated to organize a wedding with more people when everybody is travelling and you are not actually on site to do the planning.
Furthermore, your guests have to invest a lot more time, effort, and money to attend your wedding. They will need to book more time off, and plan and pay for travel arrangements. You may only be looking at asking close family and friends to make this type of commitment.
If you have a large family, particularly a large extended family, or many groups of friends or coworkers you might want to invite, I would reconsider a destination wedding. Alternatively, you could consider eloping or having a “micro wedding”, and throwing a larger party after your return.
2. Some guests may not be able to attend
Even with a smaller guest list, there’s a good chance not everyone will be able to attend. This may be due to cost, time, or even mobility for elderly relatives and grandparents. And there’s a good chance you will feel guilty for those added barriers of a destination wedding. We were lucky to have all of our living older relatives present, but I know it took a lot of planning and assistance from other family members.
In our case, many of our friends and family who attended our wedding would have had to fly in, whether from the west coast, the US, or even Hong Kong. It didn’t feel as extreme to pick a destination, since many guests already had to travel. For our wedding in Italy, some relatives were even able to drive down from Germany!
3. Plans need to be made far in advance
It can easily take a year to plan a wedding, but a destination wedding needs even more time. Many people plan their vacations a year or more in advance. It’s best to send out “save the date” notices as soon as you’ve set one, so your family and friends can book time off and start making travel plans. (We made our save-the-dates into magnets, so guests could stick them to the fridge for easy reference.) It’s a good idea to send these save-the-dates at least 8 months – 1 year in advance.
Venues, accommodations, transportation – *all* the wedding arrangements need to be hammered out early so you can communicate them with your guests.
4. You may not be able to legalize your wedding at your destination
If you have a destination wedding, you may want to consider having a symbolic wedding, as opposed to a legal/civil wedding. A legal wedding may not even be possible or recognized in your home country. It will inevitably require a mound of paperwork, and have you jumping through hoops and red tape and likely a trip to your home country’s embassy. It may also require you to arrive at your destination country days in advance. If you choose to have a legal wedding, it is always a good idea to hire a professional/have your wedding planner assist in the arrangements.
Furthermore, destination countries may not recognize certain marriages. For example, unfortunately, only 34 countries in the world recognize same-sex marriage.
We chose to obtain a wedding license in our home country, and have our civil ceremony prior to our destination wedding.
5. Cost
You will also find “cost” on our “pro-destination” list.
It depends on where you go of course, but on the whole, a destination wedding is likely to be cheaper than a local wedding. This is largely based on having less guests in attendance. (It would be a different story if your dream location is a luxury hotel in Bali, or a castle in Italy, with exorbitant venue rental fees.)
However, if you are going to be covering accommodations, more meals and wedding-related events, or additional excursions, your wedding may be more expensive.
6. You need to be comfortable letting go of control
Planning a wedding when you are not even in the country requires a significant amount of faith and a whole lot of trust.
Some couples planning a destination wedding make a trip in advance to visit the venue and meet with the vendors. This is unrealistic for many of us. Arriving in Italy 2 days before the wedding was the first time we laid eyes on our venue. We hoped it would be what we imagined, but in the back of our mind wondered whether it might be a disaster.
While we could communicate our vision and wishes for the wedding, we relied our host, our wedding planner, and our photographer for most of the details. Our planner found our musicians, our hair and makeup artists, our florist, arranged our favours, and we kind of had to trust that everyone was on the same page. (We were extremely lucky to meet our wedding planner beforehand, as she had actually flown in from Italy to visit some friends in our area!) We let our photographer take the lead on the wedding day – photography was a big part of our day, and he knew exactly where we should be, and when.
7. You will be limited in DIY
Not having to worry about personalizing every little thing could be a bonus for some. And of course, we always appreciate sourcing local. But for brides who love DIY, the wedding is the perfect place to showcase your creativity. We love seeing creative table decor and cute wedding favours. But when you have to travel to a destination, you inevitably cannot bring a whole lot in the way of little details. (However, most of the time, the destination itself will make up for it!)
